Lady Skeater

I wanted to share some of the moments that make me chuckle during everyday life and times of the skeaters :)

(It is the morning, we are getting ready to leave for work/uni, general chaos)

Peter: Ok, I'm going to get dressed, you alright with the baby for a minute

Me: Sure sure just be quick so I can finish getting ready

Peter: OK

(20 minutes later, Peter waltzes it in his pyjamas)

Peter: Holly, look at this thing I've been doing (my memory has erased exactly what it was, probably shaving a llama or similar)

Me: WHY AREN'T YOU DRESSED???

Peter: (sheepish) I got distracted....

(this may only be funny if you know peter)

(Planning for Issy's party, we're both feeling slightly overwhelmed at the housework we need to fit in, so we make a to do list.)

Peter: Right, so at most this list of stuff should take about this long, and we've got more than this long to do it, we should be fine!

Me: yeah, it's really good :D

(pause)

Peter: So, I'm going to go and get those speakers sorted now then!

(the speakers are not on the list, nor have they been mentioned all morning)

Me: *head on table*

Or, my personal favourite...

(Issy has just had an enormous poo, and there is a lot of mess on her clothes. I am trying to clean the worst off in the bathroom and Peter is watching Issy)

Peter: You're so lovely holly, I don't compliment you enough

Me: mmhmm

Peter: No really, There's some parts of you I never compliment

Me: right

Peter: Like your calves, look at your calves, they're all lovely and...

Me: PETER STOP BEING AMOROUS I AM TRYING TO CLEAN UP SHIT

This entry was posted on January 22, 2011 at 12:00 AM and has received 88 views. There are currently 0 comments. Print this entry.

Right now I am typing this and trying very hard not to cough because Issy has supersonic ears that can detect a spider eating a crisp in Australia and I might wake her up if I so much as breathe too loudly...

I'm a very lazy blogger. So I apologise to my readership, which is really probably just Pete. So sorry Pete. And sorry I haven't finished Watchmen yet.

So in the past few months, we have moved house, which was exciting, then stressful, but now is quite exciting again. Everytime we get a new piece of furniture or something, we both go 'Ah, now this feels like home :D' but our most exciting purchase was probably a pair of lovely furry little rats...'But what about the bubonic plague?' I hear you say...well, I already have the plague, so I figured I should give it to a few more rats and help it on it's healthy way.

Actually domestic rats are very clean and they do cool tricks as well so even if you did have the plague they could keep you entertained and make you feel better.

They're called Captain Jack and The Doctor, which are totally our original ideas for names, of course :p (we should probably patent them in case someone tries to use them in a popular sci fi series or something...) and they already have little personalities going...The Doctor is a little shy right now but he does seem to have a bit of a cold. Jack is a tart who likes having his ears scratched! They're both still a bit shy about being picked up though...especially The Doctor. Unfortunately this is accompanied by POO in large quantities (for a little rat anyway...) because apparently people are so scary they actually crap themselves xp

Also Peter was investigating the noises rats makes last night, including grinding their teeth together (also known as 'bruxxing' for whatever reason!), which apparently either means 'stressed' or 'happy.' I'm glad rodents are so easy to understand xp

I don't really have much else to muse about, so I'm going to go pet a rat :D

This entry was posted on September 6, 2010 at 12:00 AM and has received 72 views. There are currently 0 comments. Print this entry.

So Peter and myself are chillaxing in front of MTV's greatest awesome guitar legend heroes of ever with the biggest penises (or something). My first observation would be that none of the artistes I have seen are pushing my guitar hero buttons. BUT more importantly, has anyone actually looked at Zane Lowe's face? Because I can't tell if he is actually a person, or a novelty glasses, nose and moustache with a body attatched....

This entry was posted on June 12, 2010 at 12:00 AM and has received 63 views. There are currently 0 comments. Print this entry.

It's true! I have indeed joined the forces of skeatermedia and gained a title all in one day - Lady Skeater has a nice ring to it don't you think?

I'd like to start my blog by flattering Peter by imitating him and writing about a dream. Normally my dreams are fairly minimalist, perhaps me floating about the luggage conveyor belts at heathrow airport in an inflatable liferaft or perhaps having afternoon tea with a porcupine. However, last night's dream was actually fairly eventful, much to my bemusement. I think my subconscious was going 'You have an important blog entry to write tomorrow, I'd better make a bit of an effort...'

Unfortunately when I think of my subconscious now it'll always resemble a lazy fat man.

But, to business! My dream went a little like this:

I was driving along in a mini as my parents needed a lift to a grandparents convention. However, I was mostly grumpy because they couldn't drive themselves and my dad was doing his driving instructor bit and telling me off for being in the wrong gear. Because of this I decided to wind him up and I started tailgating the car in front, just as we drove onto the severn bridge.

Unfortunately it turns out you shouldn't tailgate other cars, at least in your dreams, because the other car braked suddenly and I crunched into them. Unfortunately, this crumpled the front of the car like a concertina, along with my leg which looked much like an accordion when I stepped out of the car. This was a very serious issue as it turned out I was actually desperately needed to give a speech at the grandparents convention! So my dad started to twist my leg round and round, which is the obvious way to fix broken legs and also had the convenient side effect of teleporting us straight to the convention.

But when I stepped into the auditorium to give my speech, it was full of my old classmates from school, who were laughing and chatting too loudly to hear my speech. This would not do! My speech wasn't being listened to, and the future of lions (I don't know what happened to grandparents, it was definitely save the lions now...) depended on it! Luckily my A-level English teacher came to help me quieten them down and convince them we needed to go on a covert mission to release Elsa, the lion from Born Free, who'd been kidnapped by some strange men who looked oddly like Charlie Chaplin.

So we all ran out of the auditorium when these men were driving past in big black taxis, and we jumped underneath and held onto the undercarriage (is it the undercarriage? all the bits under the car...?) whilst they drove to the swimming pool where Elsa was being held.

We then climbed a hill to get out of the car park and we all lined up on our tummies at the top so we couldn't be spotted. We could see her through our binoculars swimming around in the pool whilst other lions were being pushed around on the roll cages from Tesco...

Unfortunately at this point Issy farted and woke me up...so I'll never know what happened to Elsa! Or perhaps my subconsious had opened another packet of crisps and decided he'd had enough for one night and couldn't deal with inventing an ending for the story?Who knows... At least I escaped the grandparents convention...

This entry was posted on June 2, 2010 at 12:00 AM and has received 70 views. There are currently 0 comments. Print this entry.